Apple Dumplings

I've eaten so many of these things in the past 18 hours that I can't get my jeans buttoned. I don't know if you have had my Ugly Pumpkin Pie Muffins. They were pretty dern good, but this recipe blows them out of the oven. I don't have pretty pictures of this concoction, because I ate them all before it occurred to me to take a picture of them. If you want to see what the look like you can go over to Pioneer Woman Cooks and see them.

Here's what your gonna do: (I highlighted the ingredients for your shopping list)

Take 2 large granny smith apples, peel them, and slice them into 8 equal wedges.

Butter a 9 x 13 casserole dish.

Then take two cans of Pillsbury crescent rolls. Roll each apple wedge up all nice and cozy in a crescent and place them in two nice neat rows in the casserole dish.

Melt 2 sticks of butter and stir in a dash of vanilla and 1 &1/2 cups of sugar. Mix it slightly and pour over the sleeping apples.

I thought this next step was really weird, but you know how well they turned out, so go with it. Take a 1/2 can of Mountain Dew and pour it around the edge of the dish and down the middle.

Then Sprinkle with Cinnamon (lots of it) and bake at 350 for 40 minutes.

I know you are all sitting on the edge of you seat to find out about the missing gummy bear. If you are just now tuning in make sure you read the first installment. It's right below this one. Down there. Do you see it? Smooch.

The Case of the Missing Gummy Bear

It was a cold and gloomy Wednesday - (I mean it was like really cold - do I have to describe the icicles that were hanging from the eves of my house or do you get it?). The current man in my life and I had just spent a stolen hour of the day at our favorite afternoon date spot, Borders. The coffee may not be as good as Em's, but it's pretty good and I like Border's better than B & N. (Of course we go to B & N occasionally, for variety, Starbucks, and to check out books that they may not have at Borders.) As we said our goodbyes he gave me a little grin and handed me a bag of gummy bears. I thanked him and was on my way to rush around and get everyone ready for evening activities at church.

I walk into church a little out of breath and frazzled, got everyone checked in, stamped each child with their correlating name tags (but not Calla, she thinks she's too old for that, she also thinks everyone should know her name by now), got them to their appropriate destinations, and headed off for choir practice. I also stopped by my church mailbox. I didn't necessarily need to tell you that, but I was about 7 minutes late walking into choir, so I thought if I told about all the things I did on the way then you would understand a little why I was late. Do you understand? I grabbed my music, walked in front of half the choir, then in front of David -who politely ignored that I was 7 minutes late (sometimes he makes a big announcement of your entrance, which can be embarrassing, especially if you're 7 minutes late), then I slipped my way to the back row, stepped over four fellow choir members, and plopped down next to Em. Oooo, David was still rambling on about something (Hey - I was listening. I just can't remember what it was about at the minute.) so I took the opportunity to break open the bag that had been calling to me ever since I placed it hastily in my purse two hours prior. I politely told everyone in the back row that they could all have some as long as they didn't eat any of the orange ones. Em politely helped herself to all of the white ones. Then we found it. What was "it"? None other than a very very special Gummy Bear.... To be continued.
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Part II

...Em and I could not believe what we were seeing. It was the most amazing gummy I had ever laid eyes on. It was white. White gummies are actually clear, but my little people call them white. (I'm sure this stems somehow from the fact that my mother says wersh instead of wash.) The fact that the gummy was white was enough to catch Em's eye, but I saw something more before she ended his life. He he a little red foot. He looked so pathetic that then and there I purposed in my heart that this gummy should never be used as a gummy sacrifice to the coffee goddess. I quickly showed him to the choir members who were getting their music out. Wait a minute, what were we doing. Oh yes, we were at choir practice. Pay attention people, after all at the time we only had 4 more rehearsals until the Good Friday service. I placed the poor little gummy safely in the side pocket of my purse and made a new purpose for the evening and that was to pay attention to the music. If only I knew that placing him in that pocket that bitterly cold evening would result in a twist of cruel fate for this tiny special gummy... To be continued.

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Part III

When we last left Red Toed Pete, he was to the best of my knowledge safely nestled in the pocket of my favorite brown leather purse. Well, if you call shmooshed between my outdated cellphone and a roll of quarters safe, then I guess he was safe.

Early the next morning I had started the kids on their morning routine with KJ and Goggleman (formerly know as Teeger-D) in the family room watching "educational" programming. I made my bed, emptied the bathroom trash can, grabbed a cup of coffee, and headed to my computer to blog about Pete. It dawned on me (choir of angels signing) that I needed to go get Pete to take a picture of him for the post. On the way to the family room to get my purse, I stepped on a piece of glass (who knows where it came from) and cut my big toe. Blood was everywhere. In situations like this, it is my first instinct to always be thankful that I was the one who's foot was gushing. Isn't it weird how differently you think when you are a mom? I cleaned and bandaged the wound and continued on my mission to awake Pete from his hibernation season before the cell phone rang and beat me to the punch. As I walked from the bathroom to the family room, my foot throbbing all the way, I thought "This must be how poor Pete feels" and noticed that my toe was the same toe that was red on Pete. Did anyone else get goosebumps, just now? That's just creepy and I promise you that I am not making this up! I hurdled myself over the baby gate, did a triple back flipped, and landed in a solid formation, which would have easily received at least an 8.6 in the Olympics (okay, so I made that part up.) Aaaahhhhhh! Goggleman was in my purse. It was dumped on the floor and he was eating candy that I had placed there from a baby shower a few days prior. Where was Pete? Maybe Goggleman hadn't found him yet. Oh no, KJ was pretending to talk on my cell phone. That's so cute! She handed the phone to me and I pretended to talk to who ever it was as I scooped her up and headed toward the little boy with the chocolate mustache. I searched through the remains of the crime scene. No Pete. I asked Goggleman if he ate my gummy bear. "Yummy! Gummy Bear!" was his reply, as he wiped his mouth on his fresh shirt. As I went for the stain stick, I thought, "That's the end of that." But I've been wrong before and I soon found out that this was far from over...

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Part IV

Yummy Gummy. Yummy Gummy. Those words haunted me as I tried to find something else to blog about. Day after day, as I sat at my computer, starring sadly ahead at the blank screen. Yummy Gummy. Yummy Gummy...

It was Wednesday again. Time for that thing we do every Wednesday evening, that's resembles a tornado as much as anything else I could think to compare to a tornado right now. Swirling about trying to make sure the babies had "fresh" bottoms, wiping off milk mustaches, making my bed, emptying the bathroom trash (is anyone else compelled to clean the entire house before leaving home?), checking to see if the kids have their "churchwork", filling the diaper bag, throwing Peeka Princess's hair into pony tails,...,...,...,...checking to see if those butts stink again, and tossing everyone into the car.

As hard as I tried, I was still seven minutes late to choir, which seemed okay tonight because everyone else was 10-15 minutes late. Em was sitting in the back row nursing babyJ. I grabbed my choir book and strolled, not in any hurry (for the first time that day), to my seat next to her. I had previous shared my woes with her about my candy-stealing, goggle-wearing 2 year old. Although she was appalled by his behavior, she understood that this was pretty much normal behavior from a two year-old. As I went to put my purse under my seat, as usual, I caught her eye. She smiled. I smiled. Then something else caught my eye. Sitting there, as if on a leisurely vacation, was RED TOED PETE!!!!! As Em and I rejoiced together, David walked in the room and announced that we needed to get started. Several more members meandered in while I quietly slipped the handicapped little gummy back into the side pocket of my purse, from which he had escaped just a week prior. How did he get out? He was an adventurous sort of gummy. What adventure lay ahead for him next?

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Part V

Early the next morning, I sat at my computer and happily began to type the first installation of The Case of the Missing Gummy Bear. I couldn't wait to tell y'all about how me and my gummy were finally reunited! I got my camera out to take his mug shot, posed him just right, and shot several times. As always, I have a very hard time keeping my camera still when I push the button. This problem, which I am working on, led to the production of several blurry pictures. I sat the camera down in a child-safe location and went to find my phone.

Most of the time when I can't find the phone, I'm actually holding it. Sometimes I'm actually talking to someone on the phone while I'm searching for it! It was in the bathroom beside the toilet. Am I the only one who chats while I'm potty? I do have a rather extensive list of bathroom buddies, now. It (the list, that is) started with my sisters, grew to include Barb and Charmaine, and is now about 16 friends and family members in length. Aren't you terribly impressed? With four little people continually circling me, if I didn't talk on the phone while I was tinkling, I would hardly have the time to talk to anyone. Oh, see I just got off the subject again-four days without coffee-sorry!

So, I found the phone. Dialed up one of my photography friends. It rang and rang and rang. I got the recording: "Please leave your name, number, and a brief message, and I will return your call." I chose not to leave a message. I had called because I wanted him to bring over his gazillion-dollar camera and shoot a decent picture of my gummy. Looking back, I wonder how that conversation would have gone, especially since he was at work - and you know men when the are working. Please excuse me for a moment while I laugh myself into an asthma attack. Hmmm, now where is my inhaler? Oh, it's by the toilet too. Go figure!

I walked back into my library and there was Goggleman standing over the spot I had last seen Pete, saying "Yummy Gummy. Yummy Gummy." I know it doesn't seem like it could be true, that I may be pulling your leg for dramatic results, but I could not be more honest as I am right now! Pete has met his fate and we must now except it and move on.

Due to this untimely death in our family, I was on a blogging sabbatical for weeks. I am gradually regaining interest in the hobbies and joys of life I used to hold dear. However, gummy bears are slowly slipping off my radar. I have been seen several times in the past few weeks with my new love - Peanut M&Ms, which - by the way - are a less expensive addiction. The fall back there is that chocolate doesn't mix well with my attempts to sing during choir practice. Em and I tried them tonight and I nearly choked, so gummy bears may still be a Wednesday night tradition.
Here is my final ode to Red-toed Pete. Sung to the tune of Poor Jud Is Dead from Oklahoma

Poor Pete is dead
Poor Red-toed Pete is dead
The mean old Goggleman came and ate him gone.
I'm kidding not this time,
As I complete this little rhyme.
I can't believe his adventurous life is done.
Poor Pete is dead
Poor Red-toed Pete is dead
He was sitting so nice and sweetly posed.
All I have is this blurry pic
It's enough to make me sick
I'm sitting her teared up and runny nosed.
Poor Pete is dead
Keeps pounding in my head
I'm sure by then he was pretty stale.
Proof that kids eat anything
Except for things that are green.
Now please join me as I mourn and wail.
Poor Peeeeeeeeeeete
Poor Peeeeeeeeeeete
So long Pete.

smooch